I bought boxes to send stuff home earlier this week and I'm pretty sure the grin on my face was as big as when I first got here. Riding with them on my bike, with no brakes, and in a skirt wasn't one of the best decisions but I managed with minimal profanity and dirty looks. Now, they are sitting in my house and as I look at all my stuff, I don't really know if anything is worth it to send home. Either way they show me the light at the end of a very, very.... long tunnel. It's tiny, but it's there.
Last week, I knocked my open class of my list of things to do. What is open class? It's where the parents of our students come, sit in and watch the class as we teach it. Parent conferences are to follow. This, like everything the school does is a show. Let's make our foreign teachers life's hell and shove our nose so far up our student's parents assholes! Seriously. The parents come expecting to watch the teacher teaching their kid. Little do they know we have to make up new ways to of teaching the material, prepare this material, teach our kids it, and practice a week before hand to.....wait for it....not make the parents embarrassed if their kid fumbles. Not only are we to come up with this material but after we put in our own time (as we do for everything that is expected outside of teaching) we are told it should be different. Did this happen to me? Negative. I am a quick learner and have been here long enough to not be an idiot. I told my Co- teacher to tell me what she wanted me to do. She then gave me a list of things where I was the one to say "Yes, the kids can do this" or "No, this isn't going to happen." Did she like? Absolutely not, but welcome to my world.
Within the week before open class, my co- teacher was told by the Director to clean up my room. Instead of telling me to do it, she took it upon herself to do it. Ummm....ok. Thanks? She takes the coloring pages off the wall that I let the children put up if they are proud of it. She removes some of the trasher/ dingy looking things. Sweet, thanks Adeline. The next thing I know she's re organizing my whole room. My left and right hands are in a different spot, she moves all my classes sticker charts (which are located on different walls) and puts them on the same wall. I become annoyed at this becuase there are many reasons why they are on different walls. Then the next day I come in to do an activity with my kids to help decorate my now bare room but the lesson that I was going to use wasn't there anymore (the lesson- bugs). This absolutely infuritates me (not just cause my bugs are gone but there's a point when you just start to take things personally) A. my room isn't that big of a disaster and B. don't take shit off without asking me first! It's my room, I use the shit in it! I somewhat collect myself to get my kids from their beginning Korean class. While they go in to use the bathroom and wash their hands. I ask Adeline "where are my bugs that where on the wall?" (which wasn't in the most friendliest manner) She proceeds to make the korean "huh?!!" "My bugs? Where are they? Why are they not on my wall anymore?" Her: "I took them off for open class." Me: "WHY? I use those for all my classes. I would appreciate if you were to ask me before changing things in my room." as I finish my sentence, I walk off. I get all my kids in the room, and they all sit down for snack. Adeline then storms in my room. Once again, how professional can we be? She starts yelling at me.. I look at my kids, they're all staring at Adeline and I. Adeline obvisously having no regards to them, I like OK, this is going to happen... She's yelling at me, of course I retaliate back after a while I just stop talking, there's nothing I can say nor want to say anymore. She leaves. THAT was a great day.
Open class goes well, the kids do great, conferences go smoothly...a half hour into my lunch smoothly. A huge weight lifted off my shoulders! Parent shit is finished, now it's all paperwork. Hahaha, wrong. A week later I am told we now have to do Afternoon Parent conferences. What?!! We just did those 2 months ago. This is and has been my life. parent conferences are usually every 6 months, now we are doing them every 2 months. Wtf? I understand the parents want to know about their kids but for the afternoon children, all we do is tell the parents how we teach the books. We use to have to do the parent conferences for each parent infront of all the parents....talk about awful. "Oh!! Your kids is a great, does his homework, pays attention in class, but your kid...why do you do his homework for him? Please don't do that as it inhibits his learning ability. Or how about, your kid is an idiot." So, now I have to add in one more book into my lesson plan and talk to the parents on how I teach it. Super, good use of my time LCI. Ugghhh....to be among a work atmosphere with some sense....
Because I've been waiting for November 30th, 2011 to come since about... just after I arrived, I've had everything I need to do before departure in the back of my mind. I've been really good trying to get stuff done so I'm not overwhelmed by it when it all has to be finish. Adeline comes in my room earlier this week and gives me a list of these things along with examples. She then decides she wants to talk to me about our fight from the two paragraphs above. I listen as she tells me I'm not easy to work, I am a negative person, I don't accept the work given to me, She avoids having to talk to me because she doesn't want to deal with me telling her no. I give her explanations to all, the reason why I am, who I am right now, why I can't just put on a happy face anymore and why I don't just accept the work she tells me to do. She tells me me I need to put on smile and say ok when she tells me I need to do something. I tell her I put on a smile for my kids but that's all I have energy for. She tells me if I can put on a smile for them why can't I do it for her....blah, blah, blah. After talking and making no progress in either direction she then proceeded to let me know that because she is a professional woman she doesn't try to get a sore throat or cold because she knows she has to work (As if getting sick is a choice) and implies that it's my fault for being sick for the 3 months at the begin of the year, having surgery from the complications of it, tearing my ACL and everything that came after that. HA. I can't even to begin to tell you how ENRAGED I am with that comment....And if you ask me, you'll most definitely find out.
If I don't get out of this country, it's not going to be myself who I hurt anymore.
Happy thoughts...happy thoughts till the end....
If you didn't see it on Facebook here's a picture of my latest injury (which I apparently caused upon myself) from the mirror I've had on my wall all year, that decided to fall directly on my toes while I was putting on makeup. It luckily fell on my injured Knee's toes so I haven't been completely gimp-ified...just a little extra.
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| I'm hoping the broken mirror will fix the curse rather than creating another few shitty years. |
As for the good news.... to leave this blog on a positive note, I've just added Heidelberg, Germany on my itinerary. My friend Linds just moved there for work. I figured once I'm home I wont be able to travel any time soon so I might as well do it now and worry about the money later. (As we all know, it's kinda what I do best.....You only have one life so you better fucking enjoy it!!!)
I miss everyone soooo much! I can't wait to see everyone's face. I want to laugh. I want to stuff my face with food that doesn't all taste like fish. I want to speak English having everyone understand me (whether it is for the best or not, I don't care!) I want to be with people who know and understand me or at least pretend to. I just want to be home... and that's anywhere where my friends and family are.
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