I was served breakfast about 7:40am, I opted for the western style breakfast as it was recommended to me by the nurse. Koreans eat basically the same for ever meal, rice, soup, kimchi. She told me it was bread instead of rice. Sure, why not. What did I get, you ask? I got 3 slices of super sweet cinnamon raisin bread and a roll that tasted like a thick egg cake. I got a bowl of, what I think was gravy...it tasted like gravy at least, a bowl of corn flakes, with luke warm milk and a chicken salad. I ate the cake roll, the dry corn flakes and the chicken salad (at least the parts that weren't doused in salad dressing).
..............
It's now almost 11am and I have had three people come in and tell me surgery is tomorrow and everything will be fine. Is that comforting? I don't know.
..............
It's 6pm, I'm trying really hard to hold myself to together. I've been here all day and the hospital has done nothing productive with me. A staff member from the International clinic came to visit me at 5:15 and asked if I was able to communicate with my nurses ok. Yes, I am able to communicate with them ok, because they haven't done anything with me. I ask her when I am suppose to change rooms because they told me yesterday the cheaper 6 bed room would be available for me today. She tells me that there isn't one available but maybe tomorrow. Really, because that's not what they said yesterday. First red flag. She then asks if I'll have someone here to help after surgery. I tell her no, there will be a few people in and out but nothing for long-term. She tells me I should hire a private nurse because it will be hard and very difficult to move. Immediately following she tells me there are probably none available because I need to call in advance. Why would you say anything then? Or better yet, why wouldn't you have told me 2 months ago when I made the appointment? I tell her, I'll be fine and I'll manage. She still pushes it, and says she can call to see if one might still be available. I tell her I'll ask my nurse and doctor to see what they think and I'll let her know. My nurse comes in shortly after and I ask her. She basically gives me the same spiel, making it sound like I wont even be able to go to the bathroom on my own,"Yes...I think so... maybe, yes, you will need " she says. WHY is it so hard to give a definite answer in this god damn country!!!!!! I tell her it's either; yes, I do need one or no, i don't know need one, not maybe. If I need one, I will get one. If I don't, I'm not. She still doesn't give me an answer. Now, I'm stressed. I was stressed before but now I feel the tears coming. I suck it up, and decide I'll just ask the doctor when he comes because he's suppose to make the rounds soon. After that loveliness, she asks if I had heard of the complications that can happen with the surgery. I tell her, I know some them...she asks if I have signed a paper from the doctor. No, no paper from the doctor. She starts explaining one of the complications but not with my knee, with my lungs from when they put me under. If I don't breath properly after I wake up, whatever they used to put me under can damage my lungs and esophagus, so I need to make sure to breathe in through my nose and out my mouth and cough it out. UHHHHh......seriously. Where the F*** am I? I'm going in for knee surgery and I have potential to mess my lungs up?! I understand there are complications with any surgery but how she's explaining to me makes me really scared and nervous. That would only be my luck, to come out of knee surgery with a damaged lung. After she teaches me how I am suppose to breathe, she leaves. A few minutes later my doctor comes in "How are you? Do you have any questions about the surgery?" Me: "Well, I was fine until I just found out 10 mins ago that I needed to hire a private nurse. Do, I need someone here after surgery?" Doctor: "No, you'll be fine." "Ok! Nope, no, other questions." He leaves. All that BS, for nothing.
I wish that I had someone with me to experience the madness that I deal with here. Not to experience the physical pain but to witness the mental pain. Sometimes, I feel like I'm crazy and I'm blowing things out of proportion, which maybe I do, I don't know but I feel I'm a pretty rational person... I have a lot of patience, I see both sides, and I usually give people the benefit of the doubt but this place....oh, man, this place makes me want to hit things.
The next 48 hours:
8pm- tonight I get more blood drawn and an IV hook-up
12am- No food or liquids- which the nurse put a sign on my bed to remind me, but weird, it's in Korean.
5am- An IV
10am- I get wheeled to the O.R.
11am- surgery
? am- try not to ruin my lungs and breathe whatever shit they put in them, out.
Drugs, drugs, and more drugs! No food, but drugs!
8am Saturday- soup and stairs
What's funny (or really, not), no matter who comes in to see me, I have to tell them what any of the other people said. I've had to tell everyone except for the doctor, that my surgery will be on Friday at 11am multiple times, it's like they don't believe me.. There is no chart, no communication through the hopsital staff except for me. Am I comfortable with that, does it make me feel comfortable...not at all.
I'm crossing my fingers, thinking good thoughts, and hoping for the best...shoot, I might even pray that everything turns out o.k.
~After I finished writing this my doctor's intern came to explain my operation. He asked me if I had any questions. I took the opportunity to asked him about what ever the nurse was telling me about damaging my lungs. He laughed and said the only thing the breathing apparatus will do is that it might give me a sore throat for the abrasiveness of it going in and coming out but there are no fine particles or anything else. Then before he left, he told me I had to go take another x-ray because they took the wrong one yesterday.....nice, right?
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