Co- Teacher: "Yugin wants ask you about your contract."
Me: "Um, Ok. When?"
Co- teacher: "Tomorrow at 6:10. She's wants to offer you an extension of your contract."
Me: "Ughhh...Ok."
Co-teacher: "That's good!"
Me: "Yes, I know...but... :/ "
During my class, 20 mins later, Yugin walks into my classroom.
Yugin "Will you write a sentence for the class to write down so I can ask you some questions"
Me: "Uhhh, Um....ok?"
Yugin: "I hear you might be interested in extending your contract. For how long?"
Me: "Uh, I'm am thinking for 2 or three months. I will not stay until Febrary though, if that's what you want just because it's the end of the school year."
Yugin: "No, it's either the end of November or August."
Me: "August as in August when my current contract ends or August 2012?
Yugin: "A year, August 2012."
Me: "Ok...well, I definitely wont sign till August so it'd be only til November."
Yugin: "Ok! So we can stop interviewing for your position..."
Me: "Uhh....I'm not completely sure I want to stay, can I have a day to make the decision?"
Yugin: "Well, we don't need to interview new teachers if you are staying."
Me: "Yes, I know. But it's kind of a big decision and I don't want to answer when I am in the middle of a class, when I was told 20 minutes ago that you where going to ask me about it tomorrow. I haven't had time to think about it, can I have at least a day and tell you tomorrow, or maybe even two days?
Yugin: "We need to know so we can stop interviewing."
Me: "Yes, I understand. But this is the first time you asked me, I didn't know you were interviewing, and it's a decision I would like to think about so I can look at a calendar and my life to see what works best for me. Can I tell you tomorrow or even have two days to think about it."
Yugin: *ponders it for a moment* "yes, I guess that's ok, tomorrow."
She leaves, I go back to teaching my class.
REALLY...come on!!!
In the middle of my class, 20 minutes AFTER my co- teacher just told me she was going to talk to me the following day.....
Shit like this happens everyday.... EVERY god damn day. You do not tell someone you are going to do something, and then 30 mins later do something different, you do not interrupt a class in session to talk about extending a contract and then want an answer then and there, have some professionalism...or maybe even a brain. Ugggghhhh!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, you might understand more of where I'm coming from if you knew about my weeks prior to this.
Here's a little bit from an email I wrote my mom last week:
I had another meeting about how I'm not doing anything right, I need to change the way I do things, I need to scare my kids into listening to me.....blah, blah, blah. My co- teacher does this two days before my parent's meeting that I'm already stressed about. I had no proir acknowledgement that anything was wrong, my kids love me, they to listen me (they have their good days, and their not so good days but nothing unmanageable), As far as I know, my parent have no problems with me or my teaching as to they always write good things in my comment books, I got a ton of nice things for Teacher's day... It's just so frustrating! And then the next day I shed some tears at the coffee shop, cause I am holding on by threads here and some how the director found out, so my co- teacher asked why I was crying and if it was because two of my friends left? NO. No! That's not at all why I was crying!" I told her. UGhhhh... "yes, I'm a little sad because my friends left but no, I was crying because of this place. LCI. It's frustrating. It makes me sad. It makes me angry. It makes me unBEIVEably stressed out." I mean come on...You can't expect a person to take lightly a 30min conversation of how she is a failure.
THEN!! The next day, she talks to me about it (since she confronted me as I was leaving work.) I tell her if there is a problem tell me THEN, when it happens, so I can attempt to fix it, not 30 different problems at one time because then I don't even know/remember what or when it happened and why it was a problem. AND Then, she procedes to tells me, it's not even stuff that's happening now, it just things that the director remembers from my last class when i first came and I'm doing a great job but need to change a couple things now to help myself in the furture. Really? Are you kidding me?
The next day, I proceeded to have my parent's meeting and after I was told the parents love me and they told the director they want me to stay for the full year. Hince, why I'm sure my contract extension came up. Now, the director goes out of her way to tell me I'm doing a good job, and ask me how are things?....oh my hell....I'd say 90% of my stress from work is from, inefficiency, not thinking before things are done, the culture and the language barrier.
Do I really have to test my sanity and stay for a few more months just so I heal from surgery, have a little money to possibly travel and not hate my life when i go back home to no job, no car, and crutches?
I use to live my life by wants, then I came to Korea and now I have to live it by needs.
I am an American's "worst case scenerio" in Korea.
*Adeline, if you read this please don't take it personal, it's my way of telling people at home my experience, my thoughts and it's a way for me to vent....because if anyone knows what I have gone through here, it's you. Thank you for everything you have done, I can only imagine the frustrations you have with me. ;)
As for all you others....I've tried to stay positive but this place has broken me and I'm over it.
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